In today’s segment of why am I allowed to parent, I’m going to highlight the events over the past week that lead to what I call “the binkie fiasco”.
So last Thursday little man had a stomach bug, he projectile vomited all over the kitchen floor where I work and unfortunately his main binkie and binkie clip were the casualties of the sickness. I’m willing to take a bullet for my child, however grabbing the biohazard of a binkie out of the puddle of puke was not going to happen. So luckily back up binkie was available to console my sick little dude. Little mans night was rough to say the least, but having a whole afternoon and nights worth of mama cuddles seemed to do the trick. (Plus I got to lay in bed from about 5pm until 11pm catching up on my shows, that I couldn’t complain.)
Fast forward to the following morning, he’s feeling better and I take him to work with me as planned, he has his back up binkie and plenty of cuddles, it was an easy day of movie watching so he was doing fine, but then the binkie disappeared. I searched high and low but it apparently grew legs and walked away because the back up was now nowhere to be found. The motivated mom inside of me took this as a sign, we we’re ready to wean off the pacifier… oh but we were not.
That evening we get home and little dude is still just wanting cuddles and relaxing, we take our evening walk and he falls asleep, transfers over to his crib no problem and we’re in the clear. I sit down with a nice adult beverage, put my feet up, and the banshee awakens. Little man must’ve woken up, but without his binkie could not self soothe back to sleep, two hours of hysterics from both child and parents, and he is asleep. In order to get him to sleep we put him in the car and drove around the block four times, he finally stopped the hysterical screeching and went back to sleep. He again transfers easily, and we think the worst is behind us…
Fast forward two hours, its now about eleven o’clock and the banshee awakens, I find the only bottle nipple left in the house and hand it to him, hoping it will pacify his need for a binkie, he sucks on it for two seconds and gives me the look of “mama what the hell?” before he throws it across the room and again starts wailing. I’ll remind you his night prior was spent throwing up and fussing, so night two of no sleep for mom and Dad isn’t an option. We once again load him into the car, he falls asleep almost instantly as we drive the now quiet city streets, we hesitate to take him out of the car seat but know the deed must be done. I lay him next to me in bed and hope for the best, finally by the mercy of the universe he is asleep for the night.
“Mamamamamama, bababa, da-DA” my eyes open and my head pounds, the banshee is now sitting on top of me, pulling my hair, and half screeching, half talking at an unusually loud volume. I look at the clock, it’s exactly five in the morning. I groan, my husband groans, “we have to do something” I shout over his wailing, my husband agrees and begrudgingly pulls himself out of bed and gets dressed. He heads to the nearest twenty-four hour grocery store and after fifteen minutes of wishing I volunteered to go instead of staying with the tiny demon sitting beside me, he comes in with a new pacifier and a snack pouch. The tiny demon turns back into my adorable baby as he quietly eats his pouch, then takes the binkie in his mouth and goes back to sleep. The next time we wake up, it’s 10:45am and the world is a better, quieter place.
I’m not afraid of listening to my child scream, but after three days of misery, the pacifier was needed to keep both of us from a complete mental breakdown. I should note that the same day we reintroduced the pacifier, two top teeth cut through, and two more are sprouting on the bottom. There will come a time where I am mentally and emotionally ready to take away the binkie for good, but doing it while the kid teethes and recovers from his first stomach bug was probably not the best time.
So that my friends is why today I find myself asking “why am I allowed to parent.” stay tuned for next week where we tackle the fine line between exploration and eating rocks.