As a parent, it can be difficult to try and pursue your pre-baby dreams. Life happens, you go from two to three and suddenly everything you’ve ever wanted to accomplish has been sidelined in order to care for the tiny human you created. It can be difficult to transition back into your goal oriented mindset, especially when the road ahead seems unbearably long and tedious. Some days giving up on your pre-baby dreams doesn’t seem possible, other days it seems like the only sane option, but following through with that pre-baby goal is so important! Let me tell you why.
Some small back story, before little man entered into the realm of existence I was relatively on top of my military career, making my way through the ranks and doing a pretty decent job on the way. When I found out I was pregnant I remained in the guard, but lost the opportunity to change my MOS (military occupational specialty), and was pretty convinced I would just coast the last two years of my contract and go my own way after that. Little did I know when I returned from military leave in September the rumor mill had me in for a Sergeant slot, and come Halloween afternoon, the official call came through and I was offered a promotion that I didn’t think I’d ever reach. Fast forward a long three weeks and tomorrow I will be walking across an auditorium stage to get that certificate of course completion, and at the end of the month will officially be pinned a Sergeant in the United States Army. I did it, I reached a goal. The path to success was far from easy with this one, I spent months agonizing over the fact I’d be leaving my family for three weeks, let alone the fact that I’d go from full time mom to full time soldier stressed me to no end! The first few days were rough, but thank the universe I made a strong group of friends while at school to help keep it all together. Knowing my husband had back home covered made leaving so much easier, and days began to pass by and here we are, about to call it wraps on the whole ordeal. I found a strength I didn’t think I still had while accomplishing this goal, and to be honest, that was pretty freaking cool.
Having goals outside of parenting is crucial because they help you keep an identity that can so easily get lost beneath the title of “little dude’s mom”. As a mom of one, I absolutely adore my son and am pretty obviously super into this mom thing, but some days I have to remind myself that I am a separate being from little dude, and still have plenty of years ahead of me to accomplish goals and make him proud for things other than being a kick ass mom.
Take the time to write out all those goals that you forgot about or sidelined with the creation of tiny humans, and take a look at them, are they achievable? If not, why? some goals just aren’t feasible once kids are in the picture, myself personally I know that picking up a deployment isn’t an obtainable goal, and that is totally fine.
At the end of the day, I know my goals that are achievable and the ones I had to let go of, but just having things to strive for that are independent from parenting and being a good wife really helped me to come to terms with the shift in focus that comes with being a parent. Not only did it reorient the goals that were truly important to me, but it also gave me all the extra motivation to accomplish said goals, because I know my handsome hubs and little dude will be cheering me on the whole way.
So set those goals! Achieve those dreams! As long as you’re moving forward, no matter how slow (some days you’ll be moving so slow it feels stagnant), just know you’ll get there eventually and feel super accomplished when you do!